I’ve lost count of how many women have said to me:
“Oh, I could never tow.”
“I’d be too scared.”
“My husband does all the driving.”
Often it’s said with a laugh… but underneath there’s a real lack of confidence – and sometimes a real lack of encouragement, too.
In our family, it was my choice to get a caravan, and I knew I’d be the woman behind the wheel. I didn’t want to spend the next decade in the passenger seat watching someone else do the “hard” stuff. I wanted to be one of those women towing caravans with quiet confidence.
Learning to tow has opened so many doors: meeting people from all walks of life, discovering hidden gems around the country, and soaking up those wide open spaces that you just can’t appreciate from a motel balcony. I haven’t looked back.
“I Could Never Tow” – The Story We’re Told
If you grew up with the unspoken rule that “he drives, she organises”, you’re already starting a few steps behind.
- Men are often encouraged to learn towing, mechanics and “the technical stuff”.
- Women are often nudged towards packing, food, kids and “making it nice”.
When we do show interest, we can get the classic:
“It’s a bit complicated.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll do that.”
Over time, that message sinks in:
This is not my territory. I’m not the driver type. I’ll probably stuff it up.
But here’s the truth: towing is a set of skills, not a personality type.
If you can learn to use a smartphone, pay bills online, care for a family, hold down a job, or run a household, you absolutely have the capacity to learn to tow a caravan.
Every confident driver you see started exactly where you are: nervous, unsure, and wondering if they were a bit mad for trying.
How I Became the Woman Behind the Wheel
Was I nervous? Absolutely.
My heart used to race walking up to the driver’s seat. The steering wheel felt heavier, the mirrors suddenly too small, and every roundabout looked like an exam I hadn’t studied for.
Did I doubt myself? Many times.
I questioned whether I was really cut out for it:
- What if I jackknife?
- What if I can’t reverse into the site?
- What if everyone’s watching?
Did I learn anyway? Yes.
And that’s when caravanning changed for me.
Each trip taught me something new – not just about towing, but about myself. I learned I could:
- Navigate unfamiliar roads
- Adapt to changing weather and traffic
- Problem-solve when something didn’t go to plan
Some days I nailed it. Other days my right hand and left hand weren’t connected to my brain, I took three goes to get into a site, or needed a quiet cry in the ensuite. All of it counted. All of it built confidence.
What Towing Taught Me About Myself
When you’re the one behind the wheel, things shift.
You stop being “just the passenger” and become the pilot of the whole setup – car, caravan and everyone inside. With that comes:
- Responsibility – reading the road, managing speed and space, staying alert.
- Interest – you naturally start asking:
- How do our vehicle and caravan weights actually work?
- What does my vehicle really tow safely?
- What’s the difference between 12 volt and 240 volt, and what runs off which?
- What happens when we’re off-grid?
- I’m the one crawling under the van to find out why something doesn’t work
Being the woman behind the wheel becomes your shared project – and you’re right in the thick of it.
I feel:
- Safer, because I know I can handle the rig if something happens.
- More engaged, because I understand how our weights, electrics and systems work.
- Proud, because I did the thing so many women tell me they’re too scared to do.
I haven’t just towed a caravan; I’ve towed my own narrative of strength and possibility.
This Is for the Women Who Secretly Want to Drive
This post is for the women who look at other women towing caravans and feel that little pang of “I wish that woman behind the wheel was me.”
You might feel:
- Under-experienced
- A bit dismissed
- Worried you’ll “stuff it up”
- Afraid of being judged if you get it wrong
You are not alone – and you are 100% capable of learning this.
Every expert was once a beginner. Every confident woman towing a caravan had their first nerve-wracking trip, their first awkward reversing attempt, and their first white-knuckle highway merge.
The difference is they kept going.
Your First Step Doesn’t Have to Be Huge
Your first step might be:
- Driving the tow vehicle more without the van
- Asking to do the hitching and unhitching
- Booking a towing lesson
- Practising in an empty carpark with a trusted friend
- Joining a women’s caravanning group online for encouragement
- Check out “Tips for Women Towing Caravans” in my blog post
One of my favourite little tricks?
When I know we’ve got a trip coming up, I drive the tow vehicle and pretend I’ve got the van on the back. I use the mirrors more, take wider lines on corners, notice overhead signs and tree branches. By the time we actually hook up, my brain’s already in “towing mode”.
Tiny, simple things like this add up. Confidence doesn’t arrive in one big moment – it’s built in layers.
Your Invitation to Take the Wheel.
If you’re reading this thinking:
“I’d love to, but I just don’t think I could…”
Consider this your nudge.
You do not have to become fearless. You just have to be willing:
- Willing to feel nervous and do it anyway
- Willing to learn and ask questions
- Willing to have a few wobbly starts while you find your feet
One day you’ll pull into a servo, glance in the mirror, see your van sitting neatly behind you and think:
“I did that. I brought us here. I’m the woman behind the wheel.”
And that feeling?
It’s worth every shaky gear change and every awkward reverse.
Send me an email jillie@jilliesblog.com or leave message in the comments, I would love to know how you are going.
Disclaimer
This blog post is for information only, it is talking about my experience and what has worked for me, it is not to be taken as advice. Thankyou
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