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Tips on How to Practice Self Love

Practicing self-love can be a great way to boost your self-esteem and help you to lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life. There are many ways to practice self love, such as taking time to do something you enjoy, being mindful of your thoughts and feelings, and spending time with people who make you feel good. It’s important to remember that self love is not about vanity or pride, but rather about being kind and patient with yourself.

It’s also important to practice self love even when things don’t go your way, as it can help you stay motivated and confident.

Here are some Tips on How to Practice Self Love

  • Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small.
  • Celebrate your successes and recognise your hard work.
  • Talk to yourself with kindness and compassion.
  • Avoid negative self-talk and focus on your positive qualities and strengths.
  • Take care of your physical and mental health.
  • Eat healthy meals, get enough exercise and sleep.
  • Practice relaxation or mindfulness techniques to reduce stress.
  • Spend time doing activities you enjoy. This could include reading, taking a walk, or listening to your favorite music.
  • Connect with other people.
  • Find people who appreciate and support you and build meaningful relationships.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others.
  • Everyone is unique and has different experiences, so focus on your own journey.
  • Prioritize yourself.
  • Make time for things that are important to you.
  • Make sure you take breaks and relax from work and other stressful activities.

By practicing self-love, you can become more confident and content with yourself and your life.

Fidgets/Stress Balls

This silicone push pop fidget toy is a great for the person with autism, the elderly, adults and children who need to relieve stress.Encourages fine motor skills, sensory exploration, cause-effect learning, arithmetic, and logical thinking through play. Available from Amazon
Each Mochi animals stress toys designed with the cute mini animal appearance, looks adorable. It is super fun to squeeze these squishes. A good ideal for a decoration in your room, office, show window, car, bags, keys, display samples, collections, preschool props, teaching aids and more. Available from Amazon
Anxiety Relief Fidgeting Toys: Relieve stress, anxiety, and tension just by simply squeezing, squishing, and stretching these bead balls. These are a great way to avoid fidgeting, skin and nail picking, and finger cracking. A great calming tool for kids and teens with autism, ADD, and ADHD. Play and have fun squeezing stress away for hours. Available from Amazon

During my research this month I came across fidgets. My experience with fidgeting or similar was my mum telling me not to fidget and to sit still.
I read that fidgeting includes and is not limited to:

  • bighting fingernails
  • tapping fingers
  • rapid movement of the legs
  • feet bouncing up and down
  • clicking pens
  • squirming in seats
  • twirling hands

Do any of those behaviours sound familiar?

Many people with Autism, ADHD, Anxiety for example often resort to fidgeting as a means of relaxing and focusing.

I didn’t realise there is an industry out there to help people to safely and discretely channel their energy to reduce their anxiety and manage stress and very useful for a distraction.

I have used the stress balls with chimes, they seemed to be the first of their kind, and some of these squishy balls in the past. 

I also remember suggesting my clients in mental health use them for anxiety and feeling restless or agitated to help them to help them relax focus and to cope.

There are numerous designs and fidgets on the market now and available for adults and children.

I bought my grandchildren the flat one for their birthday, as a toy, not realising it had a therapeutic benefit.  It certainly helps them it helps them to be still and quiet.  They also enjoy playing with them.

There are several designs of fidgets to choose from.  They are small enough to fit into your handbag or briefcase.  The popular fidgets for children are rings, the flat design and bracelet.

Our Mood is Affected by Exercise

When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body.

1 Natural Endorphins

It appears that exercise can improve our mood by actually altering our brain chemistry. 

Exercise has been found to change the levels of a number of brain chemicals, including endorphins and serotonin. Endorphins are released by the body when we exercise to block any feelings of discomfort or pain.  As well as blocking pain endorphins also appear to enhance pleasure and lift our mood.

Serotonin has a number of functions in the body including regulating sleep, libido appetite and mood.  It is thought that exercise alters serotonin levels elevating one’s mood.  Some studies have found exercise to be as effective as antidepressants for mild cases of depression.

2 Exercise is Medicine (EIM)

When we are stressed or anxious the body produces adrenalin as part of what is referred to as the “flight or fight” response.  Adrenalin readies the body for action by elevating blood pressure and increasing the heart rate and breathing rate. 

It makes sense then that one way to reduce adrenalin levels is to behave as nature intended by “fighting or flighting” in the form of exercise. 

Exercise gets rid of excess adrenalin and reduces built up feelings of tension and stress.  This is one reason why exercise is referred to as medicine.

Start slowly, you might think about taking steps instead of the lift at work. Tolerate the discomfort you feel when starting your exercise program. You may be breathless or sore in the muscles. These symptoms will improve as your lung capacity improves and your muscles get used to the exercise.

3 Self-esteem and body image

Exercise can improve a person’s fitness, strength and endurance.  When our bodies feel fit and strong it makes us feel good about ourselves. 

Regular exercise combined with healthy eating can help maintain a healthy weight range.

Similarly participating in different physical activities provides a great opportunity for people to learn a new skill and or improve one’s ability.  Improving a previous time, number of laps completed, or weights lifted, for example creates a sense of achievement which can boost a persons self-esteem.  

4 Being Social

Participating in a team sport or attending a regular class like yoga or aerobics is a great way to meet people.  It has been shown that friendships are essential for happiness.  Sharing goals with others (ie get fit, scoring goals) gives people a feeling of purpose and can help people stay motivated.  

Exercise with a “Buddy”.  Not only does this increase socialisation it encourages accountability. There is nothing more stimulating than when you are out walking when people acknowledge you.  

It is thought that some of the positive effects of exercise seen in research studies may in fact be due to interaction with other people and feeling like part of a tribe.

5 Improves Sleep

Poor sleep can be detrimental to a person’s mood. Sleep deprivation is linked to irritability, mood swings, anxiety and memory loss. 

It is thought that the rise and subsequent fall of body temperature when we exercise helps us to get to sleep.  Exercise doesn’t just help us get to sleep it improves the quality of our sleep.  We sleep deeper so therefore feel more rejuvenated.  We are also less likely to wake up during the night. 

The best time to exercise for sleep improvement is about 3-4 hours before going to bed.  

Tips for choosing the best exercise

What you enjoy

It is much more difficult to experience a mood lift if you are not in sync with the exercise you have chosen. Similarly, people are more likely to continue with the exercise if they find it pleasurable. 

People might find it helpful to reflect on what activities they enjoyed doing as a child.

Outdoor options

There is some evidence to suggest that exercising outdoors lifts one’s mood more that exercising indoors.  It may be beneficial, therefore, to incorporate some exercise options outdoors rather than for example only attending gym sessions or running on a treadmill in the living room.  

If this is your only option, then it is your best choice.

Easy to get started

Activities that do not require too much mental energy are ideal.  Not having to concentrate too much allows people to tune out. 

Rhythmic and repetitive activities (eg swimming laps) are often good choices.  Play your favourite music while you are exercising.

Be Safe

If you are out side exercising make sure you choose your times or run or walk with a buddy. Ensure if you are cycling you are well seen with reflective clothing and reflectors  on your bicycle.

If you are starting on an exercise program, or haven’t exercised for a while, be sure to get a clearance form your Medical Practitioner. Consulting with a Personal Trainer or other professional is also beneficial to ensure you get the most benefit from your exercise regime.

Self Care is Vital for Mental Health

You hear the terms “mental health, mental illness” used all the time. But what does it actually mean?  To explain this, it’s helpful to think about mental health on a spectrum.

At one end of the spectrum a person is mentally healthy. In this area you feel able to work and study, feel connected to others, be involved in activities in your community and ‘bounce back’ when life’s changes and challenges come along.

At the other end of the spectrum is mental illness. Mental illness is a general term that refers to a group of conditions, such as anxiety, depression or eating disorders. These conditions can significantly affect how a person feels, thinks, behaves and interacts with others. Almost half of the population will experience a mental illness at some point in their lives.  Common Mental Illnesses are anxiety, depression, eating disorders and post traumatic stress.

Self-care is any activity that we engage in to take care of our personal needs and well-being. It is vital to our mental and overall health and, ironically, it’s something we frequently neglect to practice.

The recent and ongoing stress related to COVID-19 has increased the need for us to self care.  This will enable us to build resilience and continue to cope in the current stressful environment and prevent mental illness.

Practising self-care has remarkable effects on our self-esteem. When we take care of ourselves, it affirms our self-worth. By taking care of ourselves and our needs, we’re telling ourselves, ‘I deserve this’.

With regular self-care, our self-awareness is greatly enhanced. Our go-to activities will usually be something that we already enjoy, but it also gives us the opportunity to branch out and try new things. This enables us to decide what we do and don’t like and, if we discover new interests, it can potentially lead to new passions and goals.

Self-care encourages self-improvement. It promotes rest and relaxation, which benefits our overall health and wellness, and it also promotes healthy relationships. When our self-esteem and self-awareness improves, it has a positive effect on our overall mindset. This, in turn, enables us to care for our friends and loved ones in a way that we might not have been able to do before.

Do we practise self-care enough?

The first thing about practicing self care is to be aware that it is something we need to do.  Work and supporting family and friends is totally exhausting and if we don’t start to look after ourselves and revitalise and replenish then we are at risk of developing mental illness ourselves.

Why don’t we Practice Self Care?

The lack of energy or time are two of the most common reasons why we don’t practise self-care as much as we need to, but our financial situation or feelings of selfishness or guilt are also contributing factors. Many of us are of the opinion that practising self-care makes us appear selfish when, in reality, that is far from the truth.

Self Care Ideas

Self-care doesn’t have to be time consuming, physically draining, or costly. In fact, sometimes it’s the quick, simple things that are happening on a regular basis that keep us rejuvenated. Establishing a self-care routine is ideal, and the easiest way to do this is to block time your diary, daily if possible.  It doesn’t have to be for a long period, even 10-20 minutes to start would be good. Refer to a previous post on Self Care.

 If you are a morning person set your alarm 20 minutes early, even if you treat yourself to a cup of coffee in bed before your hectic day starts.  If you are an evening person schedule in 20 minutes to have some quiet time or use the time however you want to.  It’s not what you do but having the time set aside. If you are consistent you will gradually find that the time you have set aside is really valuable.

Download the Self Care First Aid PDF .  This will give you strategies to include in your routine.  Choose the strategies that suit you.

Not all Strategies Help

Some individuals have negative coping strategies. These could include turning to addictive behaviours like increasing alcohol or drug use, gambling or overeating — behaviours that can vary from person to person.  These strategies tend to be a short term solution and aren’t considered to be self caring because they aren’t behaviours that are nurturing and that would increase self esteem.

Breathing Relaxation

Here is a breathing relaxation exercise you can try:

  • sit (or lie) down and close your eyes, or let your eyes rest on an object in the room
  • inhale deeply and slowly, while counting to four
  • exhale slowly, counting to four
  • inhale deeply and slowly again as you count to four, then hold your breath for two seconds
  • exhale slowly, counting to four
  • repeat inhale and exhale cycle for several minutes, and relax consciously
  • as you inhale, imagine yourself in a safe, comfortable, beautiful place, continue to breathe as you hold the image in your mind, feel how relaxed you are, and
  • when you are ready, become aware of yourself in the room once again, wriggle your fingers and toes, and slowly open your eyes.

Muscle relaxation

When you feel stressed, your muscles might feel tense making it hard to relax. Try this progressive muscle relaxation technique to get your body to relax:

This exercise can be completed laying. down or sitting in a comfortable chair.

  • rest your arms by your side, and close your eyes
  • inhale as you count to four, and exhale as you count to four, until your mind is quiet and you feel calm
  • as you continue to breathe slowly, tense each muscle group for ten seconds (don’t tense so much that you feel cramp or pain), then relax for ten seconds, starting with your:
    • feet: curl your toes, then relax
    • calves: tighten your calf muscles, then relax
    • thighs: tighten your thigh muscles, then relax
    • buttocks: tighten your buttocks, then relax
    • stomach: pull your tummy in, then relax
    • chest: breathe in deeply, then breathe out and relax
    • hands: clench your hands into fists, then relax
    • lower arms: bend your hands up at the wrists, then relax
    • upper arms: bend your arms up at the elbow, then relax
    • shoulders: lift your shoulders up, then relax
    • neck: roll your neck gently to the left, then the right, then forward, and relax
    • jaw: clench your teeth, then relax
    • forehead and scalp: close your eyes tightly, then relax, and
    • eyes: raise your eyebrows, then relax
  • continue slow, controlled breathing for five more minutes, and enjoy the feeling of relaxation, and
  • when you’re ready, have a good stretch and bring your awareness back into the room.

Practicing self care is vital to your mental health. If you have a mental illness then self care will be one strategy used to improve your mental health.  Self Care does not have to be elaborate, expensive, or take a long time.  Self care needs to be integrated into your daily routine and become what you do to revitalise and replenish yourself to enable you to continue to support friends, family and communities that need your attention.  

There are numerous self care strategies and the challenge is to choose those strategies that will compliment, nurture and fit into your lifestyle and routine and make you feel great.                                      

Self Care

Self Care is an increasingly common topic. Implementing self care strategies into our daily routine means we are taking responsibility for our emotional, physical and mental health.

Self-care enables us to establish and maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves. We cannot be an awesome wife, mother, friend, carer, proficient at our jobs and manage whatever else we have on our plate if we don’t self care.

Practice self care to prevent burnout and to refill your tank to be on top of your game.

What You Need to Know about Self Care

  • Everything you need for self care is within you right now, you are enough
  • Self Care does not mean you are “broken” its means looking after yourself and prioritising your needs
  • Self Care means being the center of your own life
  • Self Care is soul food, you can give to others when you give to yourself
  • Self Care is not being selfish, it is a necessity for your growth
  • Self Care is individualised, it is not one size fits all
  • Your Self Care routine occurs within the cultural and social context of your life
  • Self Care is dynamic and fluid, be flexible to accommodate changes in your life
  • We are all worthy of Self Care, it is not something we have to earn
  • Self Care is not about your behaviour it is a mindset to be integrated into your everyday routine
  • Self Care is not meant to be complex it is meant to compliment you

Self Care is not a One Size Fits All!

Self care is about looking after you, there are copious amounts of articles on the Internet defining what self-care is, how to go about it and giving you tips!  These are great tips however managing your own self care is not be a “one size fits all” approach.  Choose what suits you taking into consideration your time constraints, what your current needs are and the resources you have available.

Check out Setting SMART Goals post for tips on setting your goals.

The list above contains examples of self care strategies. I am sure you will have favourites, or if this is new to you find a suitable strategy on the self care list.

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SELF SABOTAGE -THE PARKRUN

Self Sabotage- The Parkrun

I have just completed my second Parkrun at Kawana.  I haven’t completed a Parkrun for about 12 months due to illness.

The first one last week was good, great to be out there again, and I finished in 41 minutes.  This was good considering all the happenings of the last 12 months.

So my self-talk for the last week has focused around 41 minutes….  Does this sound familiar?

My Irrational Self

  • Can I beat that time?
  • I have to beat that time
  • What if I cant beat that time and I embarrass myself with a slower time, the results are out there for everyone to see!
  • Have I done enough training
  • What if I get sick and cant finish
  • I wont do the run, its too hard to think about
  • I just want to hide!
  • I wish I hadn’t started the runs again

My Rational Self

  • It doesn’t matter what time I do
  • I am going well its only 5 k
  • I can run walk
  • No pressure feels good
  • It’s a good course just go out there and have fun
  • What if I am slower who is going to notice, if they do why worry

Can anyone relate to this?  I didn’t sleep well the night before. I had all that stuff going on inside my head.  I ended up exhausted even before I began.

I decided that 41 minutes was just a number and I will aim for 42 minutes today.  This made me feel more relaxed and confident.  I convinced myself that its not about the time, just about getting out there and going for it!

It takes a lot of energy to have this chatter inside ones head; it affects sleep, concentration and is generally a distraction and pain in the neck.  Doesn’t matter how much rationalisation happens the irrational runs riot!

Start with the end in mind.  Think how good you will feel after you have achieved your goal.  Don’t worry about other people, you will find that most are too wrapped up in their own stuff to worry about what anyone else is doing.  The important thing is that you are doing it for yourself.   We are all different shapes, sizes and abilities.  Yours is just as good as everyone elses!

OUTCOME

I finished the Parkrun, I ended up a doing a quicker time. Maybe because this week at Kawana it wasn’t a beach run for the first kilometre, maybe I relaxed into it and enjoyed the run.  It really doesn’t matter depends on what happens on the day and I was out there doing it!  My age group is 70-74.

Whatever you are doing don’t allow the negative self talk to take over find your rational head space and just go for it!

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@dellow777