Self Sabotage- The Parkrun

I have just completed my second Parkrun at Kawana.  I haven’t completed a Parkrun for about 12 months due to illness.

The first one last week was good, great to be out there again, and I finished in 41 minutes.  This was good considering all the happenings of the last 12 months.

So my self-talk for the last week has focused around 41 minutes….  Does this sound familiar?

My Irrational Self

• Can I beat that time?
• I have to beat that time
• What if I cant beat that time and I embarrass myself with a slower time, the results are out there for everyone to see!
• Have I done enough training
• What if I get sick and cant finish
• I wont do the run, its too hard to think about
• I just want to hide!
• I wish I hadn’t started the runs again

My Rational Self

• It doesn’t matter what time I do
• I am going well its only 5 k
• I can run walk
• No pressure feels good
• It’s a good course just go out there and have fun
• What if I am slower who is going to notice, if they do why worry

Can anyone relate to this?  I didn’t sleep well the night before. I had all that stuff going on inside my head.  I ended up exhausted even before I began.

I decided that 41 minutes was just a number and I will aim for 42 minutes today.  This made me feel more relaxed and confident.  I convinced myself that its not about the time, just about getting out there and going for it!

It takes a lot of energy to have this chatter inside ones head; it affects sleep, concentration and is generally a distraction and pain in the neck.  Doesn’t matter how much rationalisation happens the irrational runs riot!

Start with the end in mind.  Think how good you will feel after you have achieved your goal.  Don’t worry about other people, you will find that most are too wrapped up in their own stuff to worry about what anyone else is doing.  The important thing is that you are doing it for yourself.   We are all different shapes, sizes and abilities.  Yours is just as good as everyone elses!

OUTCOME

I finished the Parkrun, I ended up a doing a quicker time. Maybe because this week at Kawana it wasn’t a beach run for the first kilometre, maybe I relaxed into it and enjoyed the run.  It really doesn’t matter depends on what happens on the day and I was out there doing it!  My age group is 70-74.

Whatever you are doing don’t allow the negative self talk to take over find your rational head space and just go for it!